Between the Cracks
by aznJEDI13
Summary: **Chapter 5 is Up FINALLY** A/A--A plan to win Amidala backfires on Obi-wan when Anakin returns from the dead.
1. Between the Cracks

Between the Cracks ****

Between the Cracks

By aznJEDI13

****

Notes: This is something I wrote a long time ago and now I'm just re-writing various parts. I wrote this to avenge all those Ami/Obi fics. I just have to say DIE!!!! I detest those fics terribly. 

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Disclaimer: George Lucas owns everything in this story, Anakin, Padme, Obi-wan and other characters, settings, places, and things. The only thing I own is the plot line. 

****

Between the Cracks

**__**

'…I can't imagine the two of us apart…'

As I lie in Obi-wan's arms, I contemplate how I ever got here. Tis true, I had once been in a man's arms, but it had not been Obi-wan's arms. 

It had been Anakin's.

Sweet, handsome Ani, lover of my soul and keeper of my heart, is dead. He has been dead. It tears me inside to know I am still alive -- living, breathing without him.

How I miss him so. 

I miss his strong arms around me, wrapping and enveloping me in a warm comforting embrace. I miss the taste of his lips pressed against my own, the way they felt as they caressed my lips and the feelings that built inside every time our lips touched. I miss the feel of his lips running down my skin, causing goose bumps to rise, making me shiver inside and turn my cheeks to a rosy red. I miss hearing him whisper in my ear. 

__

I love you, Padme…

I miss the way he said my name. I miss the way he looked in the morning, waking up to his cerulean blue eyes. I miss his fingers running down my arm, the feel of his weight against me. I missed the way he said I was beautiful. 

__

Force, you're beautiful...

I miss it all. 

I use to smile so much. Now I dare so. 

Why smile when I have nothing to smile about? The love of my life is dead, deceased, passed on -- without me. And there is nothing I can do. Life seems not worth living without him.

I cannot remember clearly how I ended up here. How I fell for a demented charmer and was swept off before I woke. Life had been so surreal for a while, now it seems I'm alone in a desolated hell with a beauteous sleeping giant. 

I've been a fool.

When Anakin died, I had died with him. I felt my soul go from my heart and disappear. I could not live another day -- I did not want to live another day. My life rose and fell on Anakin, he was my heart. Obi-wan had brought me the news of my heart's death and I screamed and cried for days. How could my heart still be beating if it's dead? 

He could not be dead I always thought. I never felt him die. If the bond that was supposed to be there was there I should have felt him die. But I never felt such thing. If he was one with the force, a luminous being, he never came to visit me. I felt his presence in my mind once, but never again. And it was so faint, I decided not to tell Obi-wan. I heard him calling once in my dreams so I thought it was only part of the dream. 

I let things continue, believing -- convincing myself that he was dead and a force blind person like myself could not experience those things with the force.

Obi-wan changed me in ways I never thought possibly. I was incredulous to believe that these changes were good and true. I have incoherent thoughts that are so distorted I still cannot clearly remember what had happened.

It seemed like my life was starting anew when he kissed me. I dove in for more. The stupidest thing I have ever done. 

We were married not before long. He took me on the most majestic honeymoon, second to my first with my beloved. He swept me off my feet in a brother-sister kind of way. I have never felt love like this, but it was not romantic love -- it was love of a heart half gone. I scorn myself for falling each and every day as I live without Ani. 

To think I lay in his Master's bed, thinking only of his baby blue eyes, of his blond hair, of his coarse hands, of his strong arms, of his crooked smirk -- of Ani.

I loved Ani before I knew love itself, before I thought such passion was possible. Is it possible that I sold my soul without a second thought? No, when I was on the breach of selling my soul, I saw it was the only true and perfect thing to do. Ani will always be the lover of my soul. Denying that love would be denying my true self. 

I gave myself to him completely -- body, mind and soul. I cannot take it back -- there is no reason to take it back.

It was incredulous of me to believe I could do it again with Obi-wan. He was a friend to the deepest kind of me, but he will never be my lover. And yet I lay here in his arms. I've been a fool to believe I could be swept off my feet twice. How senseless had I been -- I love Ani, I will always love Ani. 

He was a lover to the deepest kind of me.

I bury deeper in the sheets and close my eyes hoping for serene slumber. I feel the weight of my body being lifted, the picture of his cerulean blue eyes growing sharper. I am almost there. I jump slightly hearing the small creek of the door. 

I see his shadow. I know I am dreaming. 

I close my eyes to sink farther into the dream, but all I am overwhelmed with is darkness. I open my eyes suddenly and see his shadow. I can see the faint glow of his cerulean blue eyes and I gasp.

It is not a dream. 

"Ani…" I feel a tear roll down my cheek, "Am I dreaming?" I ask.

He does not answer. I blink to be sure. When my eyes open again, he is still there. 

I watch. Not sure what to do. He goes over to the dresser. I hear the small crack of the door and then a heavy slam. 

I turn my head gently to see if Obi-wan has awakened. He hasn't. He's always been a heavy sleeper. Sometimes, if it's quiet enough you can hear the subtle snores, growing fainter through the wisp of his beard. 

Ani turns to me and I become scared. I have never seen his eyes blaze the way they do right now. They are so cold, so filled with pain. I bite back a sob. 

It's really him.

Part of me is happy, crying with joy. The other part of me is scared. Does he think I betrayed him? Does he think I love Obi-wan as I loved --love him? Another part of me wonders, hadn't Obi-wan given him up for dead? And part of me asks why had Anakin been hidden away? Why had Obi-wan relocated me as fast as he could? Inside my brain reasons and answer, logical and illogical swirl in my head. 

My mind was full of why's, but for the first time, my heart was filled with love. I have found my home -- there in his heart. 

The only problem was he had hidden the key from me. 

His eyes scream for me. Those cerulean blue eyes, eyes I had longed to see now look at me with emotions so callous I shiver inside. I feel his emotions. He believes I have betrayed him. I want to scream but I've lost my voice. My breath is caught in my throat. 

I search the depths of his eyes, sinking and falling farther in. Suddenly, he closes them and I am thrown from oblivion. I cannot see through them. I cannot see what he is feeling anymore. I cannot feel him.

He turns on his heel and walks, slowly at first before he picks up his pace and runs out of my room. I dash out of bed, after him. Screaming his name as I run while hot tears roll down my cheeks.

"Anakin! Anakin please!"

I run after him. My petite steps are no match for his long strides.

I scream once more. "Ani please! Please stop!"

Finally, I see his figure stops at the end of the corridor. I shudder. I reach him, placing my hand on his shoulder. 

And I notice for the first time just how cold he really is.

I hear myself whisper. "My beautiful Ani." 

To be continued…


	2. Coming from the Cracks

"My beautiful Ani ****

Coming from the Cracks

By aznJEDI13

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Notes: I write this to avenge all those Ami/Obi fics. I just have to say DIE!!!! I detest those fics terribly. Not really, but they are beginning to irritate me.

****

Disclaimer: George Lucas owns everything in this story, Anakin, Padme, Obi-wan and other characters, settings, places, and things. The only thing I own is the plot line. 

****

Coming from the Cracks

**__**

'…Baby I can't help it, keep drowning in your love…"

"My beautiful Ani."

I hear my voice, but I am not talking. I see my thoughts, but I am not thinking. I feel my breath, but I am not breathing. I am utterly speechless. No words could describe this moment.

This moment of pure unbelief and shock, pure and utter shock.

I stare at him for a second. He is all that I remember; he is just like I remember. Sharp, cunning, conniving cerulean blue eyes, eyes that lit up the room, could always see into the depth of my soul, and captured my mind and stole my heart. 

Fascinating, wavy short golden curls, blond and brown, mixing together in a way that did not seem humanly possible and yet it was. It was a beautiful combination, perfectly made in every way. Curls waiting for my fingers to run through them, yearning to feel my touch once again. Broad shoulders, that allowed him to carry his self with confidence, stature, and strength. His finely toned chest and abdomen, that, though I could not see it through his thick robes, I knew it was there. I had memorized every intent and every crease. There was no hint of imperfection. 

He had asked me once if I were an angel. Though he had always been the true angel. Always.

There was one thing that I had memorized more then his beautiful features. There was one other thing that I had vowed never to forget and to this day I have never forgotten. One thing that had never ceased to plague my dreams, to haunt me day in and day out and that was his voice. His deep and robust voice with a slight accent from being around Obi-wan too much and a growing hint of Nubian. It was a husky, intense, aggressive voice at times of intimate passion and potent situations, but it was also compassionate and gentle for instances of love and friendship. All my life, I have never heard such an amazing voice before and I likely never will.

And when he spoke, in that voice I had longed to hear for so long, I knew for sure it was Ani. 

My Ani.

It quivered slightly, shaking inevitably. "My Padme."

It was as if he were a ghost. He stood there, studying me, watching me, but he denied himself more than that. I wanted to reach out, to take him into my arms. But my body would not move, I just stood there and felt the tears fall down my cheeks. Salty tears fell one by one, I wiped some off, others escaped down my porcelain cheeks to the wisp of my curly hair. Only tears fell, my eyes refused to leave his, my feet refused to move, my heart refused to beat. 

I felt goose bumps crawl up my arms as tears wet my skin. I refused to blink away the tears, afraid that if I closed my eyes even for a split second he would slip away and I would lose him again for eternity. By now my hand had dropped from his shoulder and we continue to study each other, stare into the depths of each other's souls; reach for each other's heart. 

Both unsure of what we saw was for real, what we see is for real. To be sure it is not the surreal dream that we had been living in and longing for so long. 

Then on impulse, I take his hand in mine and then, as his touch electrifies through my body, burning me to the ends of my heart, to the cores of my soul, I bring his stalwart hand up to cup my cheek. "Oh, love." I whisper, my voice shaking and quivering, afraid, unsure, scared. His hand is really there. It is real. He is real. It is not a dream. He is not a dream. I feel the beat of his heart from his palm, the race of his crazed heart, as he stands astonished before me. My own heart races in tandem with his. 

I fall once more or is it that I never came back up. Either way, his love, though not in words or actions, but in his eyes, those endless, loving, cerulean blue pools cause me to sink farther and farther. So far that I have nothing left to hold onto except his undying and unyielding love. I am surprised, for a split second; it is still there. But when I grasp it and it clutches me, I realize that ever since I had met that little, scrawny nine-year-old that love, whether as friends or lovers, had no chance of ever disappearing.

I am drowning once more, once again and it is an inevitable and unstoppable feeling. I know better then to stop it; in fact I want it. I have gone so long without it and I have missed it so much. I kiss his palm then, lightly and gently, loving and tenderly, before letting go of everything inside of me.

I cry knowing he is there to wipe away my tears. 

To be continued…


	3. Speaking Through the Cracks

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Speaking Through the Cracks

By aznJEDI13

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Notes: This is something I wrote a long time ago and now I'm just re-writing various parts. I wrote this to avenge all those Ami/Obi fics. Not really, but they are beginning to irritate me. Honestly, however, I never wrote this to insult or offend any of those writers. I'm sure you write beautiful and fantastic stories. On the other hand, I have just felt that there hasn't been enough Anakin and Padme stories to go around. I am so SORRY!!!! I didn't mean to verbally abuse anyone!!!

Disclaimer: George Lucas owns everything in this story, Anakin, Padme, Obi-wan and other characters, settings, places, and things. The only thing I own is the plot line. 

Speaking Through the Cracks

**__**

'…When you are with me, I'm free, I'm careless, I believe…'

I cannot breath. I cannot see. I cannot think. It hurts to comprehend. It hurts to understand. Then again, I do not want to know. I do not want to see. Deep down inside, however, I know that I will have to see, eventually.

But his arms, as they surround me, I do not want to think of anything else. And yet, in the back of my mind, my thoughts are plagued with questions and more questions. And as the tears burn my eyes, I can think of nothing but an explanation.

An explanation I must have.

The weeping of my body as it cries out to be loved is an overwhelming emotion. Though, the most power feeling of all is the need, the want to finally comprehend. It is an unyielding desire to finally know and understand. And, right now, I'm ready to roll over and accept fate for the first time. Because fate the same fate that had torn Anakin and I apart, has then brought us together once more. I love fate right now, right this very second.

Once the tears have dried from my eyes, they focus on the man before me. He is stunning, just as if I had seen him days ago, not years ago. His hand, quivering nervously and unsure, reached to cup my cheek ever so tenderly. His touch, the gentle touch of his robust, coarse hand, sore from using the handle of a light saber, electrified and intensified the already growing emotions in my body.

He spoke then with his voice full of depth and brawn, "Padme…"

It was then that I kissed him. Tenderly brushing my lips against his own in a way that I had longed to do for so longs. Ours lips met in a sweet, tender kiss that grew and intensified with the emotions that I had for so long thought had been locked away. 

His lips, so gentle, so soft, the way that I remembered, the way that had been burned into my mind and had plagued my dreams for so long.

It was a kiss I hadn't felt in a long time. It was not a kiss, a brother-sister kiss, that which I had been use to and felt with Obi-wan for so long. No, it was a kiss of passion and of love. A kiss that I know I will cherish for years to come. It was a kiss with Anakin, the lover of my soul and the keeper of my heart. 

He chose then to pull away and when I looked into his eyes they were full of tears. "You betrayed me…" He began.

Tears welled then in my own eyes as I saw the expression of pure pain on his beautiful face. I grabbed his hand then, the hand that had somehow fallen away from my face and pulled it toward me, but relentlessly he pulled it back. 

"No," I wipe my eyes, screaming almost, wanting – no, needing him to believe me, "No, Ani, of course not!" 

He tries to look away, but I grab his hand pulling it towards my chest. My heart pounds against my rib cage, in tandem with my nervous emotions. "Feel my heart," I wipe away tears that have fallen, "I told you once, Ani, and I will tell you again…" I look into his eyes for a split second, "My heart beats for you…and only you." 

There was a moment then of pure uncertainty and silence before he smiled and whispered quietly, "Somehow I always knew that." And then he moved to push a strand of hair behind my hair, "I don't know why I ever doubted you." 

He laughed and leaned forward to capture her lips in a passionate kiss. It was a tender and gentle kiss that I thoroughly enjoyed. I felt his hands come up to cup my cheeks and his touch ran through my skin. I closed my eyes, wanting to savor the moment forever. 

But still, in the back of my mind, I was still plagued with the ever-growing need to have those answers, answers I know I will dread for a lifetime. 

To be continued…

Feedback is greatly appreciated. 


	4. The Beginning of the Cracks

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The Beginning of the Cracks

By aznJEDI13

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Notes: I write this just because I am very tired of seeing so many other kinds of fics involving Padme. I didn't intend when I first wrote this to offend any of those writers who work so hard or diligently to create a surreal world, but I simply was just getting a little annoyed that there were so many. This is just part of my contribution to the fan fiction world. I realize its _only_ fan fiction!

Sorry I never had time to check spelling or grammar or punctuation!!!!

Disclaimer: George Lucas owns everything in this story, Anakin, Padme, Obi-wan and other characters, settings, places, and things. The only thing I own is the plot line.

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The Beginning of the Cracks

**__**

'…Was there that I realized that forever was in your eyes, the moment I saw you cry…'

I was back where I belonged -- in his arms.

The feeling of complete security, of utter peace came from his arms and overwhelmed me. It was all so intoxicating. 

Ani, my heart breathes, sweet Ani. 

I pull out of his embrace to look him in the eye. To connect blue with brown, brown with blue and gently I reach up to caress the top of his head. Checking to be sure it is really he. I smile because it's Ani -- my Ani.

He brings his forehead down to rest upon mine and I smile slightly. "Missed you so much Ani,"

He plants a tender kiss on my nose, smiling that charming smile that made my heart swoon and leap at the same time, "The feeling is mutual, love."

My smile brightens and stretches from cheek to cheek, "I know."

He leans down for another kiss, which I gladly accept. We kiss not just once, not just twice, but many times, several times. I sigh against his lips and pull back.

Pulling him close, I rest my cheek against his chest, settling to hear his heart beat in tandem with my own. "We need to talk Ani."

He sighs pulling away to look me in the eyes, "Not now."

I shake my head, knowing his excuses won't mean a thing. "I'm serious Ani, now."

He sighs again, a look of defeat washing over his beautiful features. He kisses me tenderly, softly pressing his lips against my own, "Not here." He whispers and I nod.

With the sweep of his hands, the swift movement of his legs we are away from the hall and have slipped into some hanger bay. In it lies a ship, sleek and stealthy by appearance of his newly christened metal and polished stamps. It's a beauty and I know it belongs to him.

__

I want to be the first to see them all. 

He pulls me inside with a quick movement of his bony frame and once inside he sweeps me into an embrace. He holds me like there's no tomorrow, like he could die today. 

I cringe slightly feeling out of place in this alien area. 

He tilts my head for a kiss and then pulls away. 

The familiarity comes rushing back suddenly. I realize I am not alone. I'm with Ani -- my Ani.

There are tears in his eyes. Tears, salty and glassy falling from those pools of cerulean blue that for as long as I can remember I have loved. 

I rush to hold him but he turns away. 

"Ani…" I begin, he shakes his head and wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his tunic.

In a monotone voice, separate from any human emotion he begins, "Ask your questions."

I sit back in a chair and sigh. 

So many questions. 

"Ani," I begin, "There's no where to start."

He nods, "How about the beginning?"

I shake my head sighing and look out the window into the hangers and then turn to face him. I don't have to ask before he moves to the controls and starts the engine. 

Yes, the beginning is a good place to start.

As I follow his hands flying over the controls, the ship flies away from the building and away from the lies. There is nothing left to do but leave.

I look at him, watching his expression knowing that maybe things won't change, things won't get better. There are answers out there, but knowing those answers won't do anything. The only thing I could do after knowing those answers would be to cry. 

To cry a thousand tears for that will be how many pieces my heart will break.

I begin to feel salty liquid from the corners of my eyes fall.

He reaches out to grasp my hand, "Hey," he sooths caressing the skin on the back of my hand; "It'll be all right."

My heart beats a little slower, knowing he is right. Those answers may keep us apart, but not forever. We, I realize, will have forever -- no matter what.

Forever, I saw once more, once again, in his eyes.

To be continued…


	5. Breaking Apart the Cracks

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Breaking Apart the Cracks

By aznJEDI13

Notes: I write this just because I am very tired of seeing so many other kinds of fics involving Padme. I didn't intend when I first wrote this to offend any of those writers who work so hard or diligently to create a surreal world, but I simply was just getting a little annoyed that there were so many. This is just part of my contribution to the fan fiction world. I realize its _only_ fan fiction!

Sorry I never had time to check spelling or grammar or punctuation!!!!

Disclaimer: George Lucas owns everything in this story, Anakin, Padme, Obi-wan and other characters, settings, places, and things. The only thing I own is the plot line.

Breaking Apart the Cracks

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'…It seems I found the road to nowhere

And I'm trying to escape…'

He squeezes my hand and glances out of the cockpit window. Slowly, I feel his arms come around me and embrace me in an ardent hug. He holds me just right – not too lose, afraid that I might disappear, but not too tight, afraid I might slip away.

This brings comfort to me and I began to drop those shields and take off the mask I formed when he was gone – when he was suppose to me dead.

"Obi-wan told me you were dead." I began, simply, I do not know how else to start or for that matter what else to say. 

He glanced at me and then back at the stars, it was easier, I suppose, for him to not look at me when he was talking. Did it take some of the pain away, I wondered? His voice cracked before he spoke and he blinked. "He lied."

I could tell this was hard for him and he could most definitely not stand it. 

"He lied, about what?" I questioned. My fingers are trembling I realize and my heart is thumping terribly against my rib cage. It's getting faster every second that I wait for his answer. "What are you insinuating Anakin? You believe that Obi-wan lied to me about you so he could seduce me?" 

Anakin turned away and refused to look my in the eyes. I wanted to see his cerulean blue eyes, but he turned away and hid his face from me. His handsome features melted into somber emotions and he lowered his head, staring at his feet. Why wouldn't he look me in the eyes?

"Anakin?" I questioned, reaching out and pounding on his shoulder in irritation and confirmation; "Obi-wan's like your father!" I cried, didn't he understand? Obi-wan wouldn't do that… 

He turned around suddenly and startled her with his actions, "I know!" He cried back. His eyes reeling with overwhelming pain and inevitable agony, "Don't you think I know that!" He began to shake his head furiously; "I've been dead for how long, Padme, how long? Two, three years…" He pointed his finger at me, "I've researched, I've observed, and I'm right." 

I blinked my eyes, the shock still running through my body and realization washing through my system. It made sense. Obi-wan's perfect timing, how he suddenly came in my vulnerability to sweep me off my feet and fly me away to another time and place.

It made sense. 

But more importantly, I had been betrayed. 

Betrayed by the man whose arms surrounded me every night. Whose kisses I had received and reciprocated for the past two years, whose breath had been on my body, whose hands had touched my skin, whose heart had tried to connect with my own.

The man who was supposed to be my friend, my lover, and my protector had betrayed me. 

I had been such a fool. 

I closed my eyes, sniffling and allowing the shock to overwhelming me for a tiny bit longer. I looked up and his cerulean blue eyes pierced me. I inhaled the air around me, the aroma from his skin and the mechanical scent of the ship. 

"Ani…" My voice trailed off in apprehensive and consternation, "Ani…" 

His arms came around me in a hug, gently pulling me into that tender embrace that for so long I had missed and yearned to be in once again. He sweetly kissed the top of my head and pulled me in tighter.

I breathed out heavily again, watching the stars glow, "Anakin, he betrayed me." 

He nodded against my head, "I know." 

"I'm a fool Ani, such a fool." I felt the tears began to slide down my cheeks, "Such a fool. I was such a fool."

Finally, I broke down crying, the shock, the pain, and the tears – everything just so overwhelming. It hurt so badly. Anakin's arms tightened around me and thus it only made me cry harder and harder. I could not believe it. 

I had been betrayed. 

To be continued…

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Please REVIEW. I love feedback and always look forward to reading what you, readers, say!!!! 

PLEASE REVIEW!!!


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